you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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