He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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