i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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