D3 body, D1 cock
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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