I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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