Will you blow on my dice?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
