whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
