This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
