and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
