He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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