What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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