I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
