dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
