yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
