I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize