honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
