her vagine was all disorganized.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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