this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
