You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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