Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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