i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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