I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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