my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
