butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
