How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
