No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
