He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
