So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
