Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
