For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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