he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
