HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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