I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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