Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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