So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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