break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
