thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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