Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
