For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
