I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
