That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
