Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
