so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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