your parents love me but you hate me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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