I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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