Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
