That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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