We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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