She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
