he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
