Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
