Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Randomize
