I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
BRING THE BAGELS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
