You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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