I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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