can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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